Of Emeralds and Onyx
by GayShipsWorshipper
Summary: Severus Snape faces the Chosen One Except it's his choice-Mother or son?


Harry stood there, flabbergasted. He wondered if the fatigue had finally caught up with him, after all these weeks of consoling families who had lost in the war, answering the barrage of questions from the press as well as the Ministry, (or what was left of it at any rate). Certainly the stress of having to face the absence of many loved ones, Fred, Remus, Tonks, even Sirius and Dumbledore was responsible for this hallucination before him. He rubbed his eyes bleakly, thinking if Hermione had messed up his vision-correcting spell, but that thought itself was too ridiculous. He felt his parched lips move to name this miraculous phenomenon currently smirking at him from an all-too-familiar face. "That will be quite the enough stammering, Mr Potter," the hooded figure sneered but Harry didn't care. Before he could quite wrap his mind around the fact that he was actually alive, Harry found himself barreling towards his previous Potions master and burying his head in warm, thick, black-as-ebony robes.

Severus Snape looked down at the Boy Who Lived (Once Again And When It Counted Thank God) who was currently in a position he never thought he would find the boy in. His next biting retort had died in his throat the moment the boy rushed towards him, with a face of jubilation that he never thought he could inspire in someone in his lifetime. And here the boy was, eagerly pressing into his chest, the skinny arms, too thin in fact, were wrapped tightly around his waist, and Severus realised he had never felt so wanted. But it was probably more to do with the fact that Harry was understandably glad that he had saved one more life, rather than that he, Severus Snape, was alive. After all, it was up only till a few minutes while he was quite occupied in the throes of death that the boy had somewhat let go of his animosity towards him. But what was he to do now, hug the boy back? That was simply preposterous. But it seemed Harry would not be letting go until the hug was reciprocated. So, Severus hesitantly lifted a hand and patted the boy's back awkwardly.

At Snape's touch, Harry instantly let go, his mind whirling, cheeks flaming. Good grief, did he actually just hug _Snape_? The ugly, greasy git whom he'd glared over many a cauldron all those years at Hogwarts? Who had loved his mother and...and...well, practically saved his life so many times it didn't matter right? Yeah, this was what it was, gratitude, yes, he'd hugged Snape because that was what you did when people whom you owed your life to came back from the dead. Harry shifted his weight from foot to foot, as he cast his gaze to the broken floorboards and muttered.,"Sorry, Snape, I mean, Professor, Sev-" "Potter," the sharp voice commanded his attention and Harry looked up at a man he last saw dying on the floor of the Shrieking Shack. Severus Snape had changed, indeed, he was much thinner, almost as bony as Harry was, and he noted a jarring scar on the pale skin of the long neck. Snape held his arm askew, so Harry surmised it was probably healing. The older man still had the midnight-black hair down to his shoulders, but it wasn't greased and slicked as usual, (Harry thought that hair gel must have been the last thing on his mind so far) and instead had untidy black strands in a decidedly Gryffindor fashion. He almost let out a hysterical giggle at that thought.

"Potter. Are you, or are you not going to offer me a seat and a drink? I haven't been out of St. Mungo's for long and shouldn't be on my feet for more than a few minutes, or so the Mediwizard says," Snape said in a manner reminiscent of taking points from Gryffindor. But to Harry, it felt like his usual tint of acerbic was lost, as if his heart wasn't quite in it, and that Snape was merely trying to mock him a little. "Of course sir," Harry called Kreacher to bring refreshments and he gestured to an empty armchair the furthest away from the gaping hole in the Gryffindor Tower, courtesy of a Reducto curse during the War. Snape settled himself down without any fuss, but Harry recognised the blank look of someone trying to mask physical pain. He knew that any attempts to help Snape would be rebuffed of course.

There was a pause as Harry sat across Snape and then they both began to speak at the same time.

"Professor, I-"

" , you -"

They both stopped and looked at each other. Harry could hardly help his ear-splitting grin and the boisterous laughter that ensued; he never got that many reasons to laugh anymore. He quelled his laughter instantly though, but not before noticing a small quirk of the thin lips. Snape gestured that he should go first.

"Well, Professor, I just-"

"Seeing as I am no longer your teacher, Potter, you may call me Mr. Snape," Snape interrupted.

"Mr Snape?" Harry gave him an incredulous look. Snape sighed in the manner of a parent placating a particularly petulant child and said, "Well, then, Severus, if you must."

"Only if you call me Harry, Severus." Harry rolled his name off his tongue, it was foreign, but decidedly, more, more humane. More liked it.

"Very well, Harry." Hearing his own name spoken by Snape, no, _Severus_ , was decidedly odd as well but Harry chose not to dwell on it further.

"Severus, I owe you an apology, and of course, a huge thank-you," Harry began.

"An apology? Whatever for?" Severus asked quizzically. He hardly dare to think that the boy, no, Harry, would apologise for years of torment in lessons, or the insolence the boy had thrown at him while he was a student.

"For not saving you of course, for not trying harder," Harry stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Harry, you were not responsible for saving me, in fact, I myself even thought I was going to die that night, " Severus told him, black eyes sincere.

"No, there was something I could've done, there always is," Harry mumbled. Ah, Severus could see the problem now. Survivor's guilt, not uncommon.

"Harry, is it George Weasley's fault that his twin perished in the war?" He asked softly.

Harry's gaze snapped back to him, slightly outraged. "Of course not, it was the Death Eater's!" he snarled. There was a look of hatred, of vengeance that the boy was too young to know on his face. It was an ugly expression, but an necessary emotion Severus had to provoke.

"Exactly," Severus said, and sank down into the dusty cushion, a sharp pain in his chest kept him from talking too much at one time. Harry realised what he meant, but still look unconvinced.

"Well, I still have to say sorry for the horrible things I said about you, and to you, you know, that night when Dumble-" Harry stopped himself with an exhaled breath and looked away at a portrait with glassy eyes. Severus himself realised that the boy had not quite gotten over the Headmaster's death, especially now surrounded by the reminder of so many dead, and in fact, Dumbledore's very own murderer sitting across him.

"Yes, I remember," Severus said a little too harshly. He didn't particularly like relieving that night as well.

"I'm not blaming you of course, I know it had to be done, but-" Harry started rambling again.

"Harry, the point?" Severus reminded him.

"Right, right, the point. The point is," Harry looked at him with piercing emerald eyes, "The point is that you are not a coward. And I shouldn't have called you that. You are, the..bravest man I've ever had the fortune of knowing."

Severus felt the wind knocked out of him in one breath that had nothing to do with his injuries. Harry's admittance was as good as a public declaration of love, and all the more it would help him accomplish his task. But he never thought the boy would pay him that compliment, let alone praise him at all.

"You aren't so bad yourself," he said.

The boy laughed, such a carefree, happy sound but then sobered all too quickly. He said, "Well, I had to, if you know what I mean. And that itsn't so true. I was so scared, literally, terrified to...well, never mind. Anyway, Severus, I have to thank you for what you did, what you sacrificed, that so many others shouldn't have, for me, that you had to be a spy for us all the while, and that was no picnic." Severus almost snorted, yeah, it was no picnic alright. "And I don't think anyone knows the true extent of, of how much you've helped us, and how crucial it was...Severus, I couldn't have done it without you." the boy looked up with such a grateful, thankful look in those deep green eyes, without a trace of hatred or loathing as he was used to all these years. Severus was taken aback. He jerked his head in a sort of acknowledgment and said, "You're welcome..Harry." This was the perfect time to ask the favour he thought, and though he hated the thought of asking for assistance he had to swallow his pride and ask the boy if he wanted to live a life.

"Harry, if I may be so bold as to ask you of a favour?" Severus asked as politely as he could through gritted teeth. Damn the Ministry!

Surprised, the boy nodded eagerly, wanting to repay Severus in any possible way he could.

"It's sort of a ...delicate situation if you will. You see, they've been rounding up the remaining Death Eaters, and well, frankly I'm a suspected one, and the only reason I haven't been thrown into Azkaban yet is because of my injuries that had to be treated," Severus said quietly, hating himself for being so weak. He could see Harry's face turning red with anger as the boy gripped his wand so tightly that sparks were shooting out. Severus was alarmed, he didn't think his request warranted such a rejection, and felt a wave of familiar, unbridled fury wash over himself as he said stiffly, "Fine. I see that your words are but empty ones and I shall just get on with my own day and-" He broke off as the boy stared at him as if he'd grown an extra head. A sudden look of enlightenment crossed Harry's face as he said, "Y-You thought I was angry at you for asking? Merlin, no! I can't believe you would think that I'd refuse...But seeing the way I treated you, I suppose you had every right to expect that...But, the reason I was, am so angry that they still cannot believe you are innocent and as much a Death Eater as I am!"

Severus felt his heart jump at those words, so Harry was going to help him? He felt a hint of a smile reach his face as he said, "Would you mind repeating what you've just said to the Aurors who are waiting for me at the foot of the tower?"

Harry's face became a funny palate of green and red just then, and his whole body was quivering with barely suppressed rage.

"Aurors! The nerve of them-" Harry stomped off and seconds later, Severus could hear Harry yelling a few well-chosen words at the pair of Aurors, mostly about how Severus Snape had all saved their skins and how he was a hero, more so than Harry Potter himself. Despite himself, Severus grinned at the thought of the unfortunate Aurors facing the wizard who killed the Dark Lord. When Harry came back a few minutes later, Severus thanked him contentedly. "No, it's the least I could do," Harry smiled wanly. "Well, you've defended my honour quite sufficiently. Thank you," Severus nodded. "Yeah, a few words from the bloody Chosen One can do that," Harry shook his head at the absurdity of his title. They sat there in companionable silence for a moment.

"Oh, I, er, these are yours," Harry handed a glass vial of silvery substance to Severus. The memories. Severus flushed slightly at the thought of what Harry might've seen in them, especially his love for his mother. "You've been carrying them around?" He asked to mask his embarrassment. Now Harry himself blushed, and said, "Yeah, kinda. Sorry. I know they're really personal, sorry, but I just...after it was all over...you kinda seemed like the only person who understood what it felt...and I thought you were dead, and I just," Harry shook his head and swallowed down the words he'd meant to say.

"You just what?" Severus asked softly, almost gently. He could have heard a pin drop in the ensuing silence.

"I... missed you," Harry said, not meeting his eyes. Severus felt his breath hitch and his face warm. Merlin's beard, did the boy really grown to care for him? A pity it was only after his death...

"Harry," Severus started. The boy deserved to know the truth.

"Yeah, I know it's stupid, and like, you still hate my guts and everything, and me too, and it's not like anyone really cares, y'know?"

"What do you mean no one cares?" Severus interjected.

"Well, like, I had to do this you know, I was the Chosen One, the Boy Who Lived, I had to kill Voldemort, the prohecy chose me to do it, or else the wizarding world would've just died, and it's not like I had a choice. No one really cares about me, Sna-Severus. They care about Harry Potter, their savior, not Harry, me," the boy stated dully. "What about Miss Granger and Mr Weasley? Surely you can't think that they don't care for you?" Severus was still astonished by how thick the boy could be, even after the whole battle. Some things never change, did they? "Well, I know they do, now, but did you know, I only met Ron because the Weasleys recognised me as Harry Potter, and Hermione too, not that they aren't great friends, they are, but like, if it weren't for the prophecy, I wouldn't even have met them. I...missed you, in a way, because even though you knew who I was, you didn't treat me like I was a hero, like almost everyone else does. In fact, you went against the extreme, you kinda, sought to, y'know, squash me down, everytime, and it's true I hated you, and I hated it, but you were the most normal of them all...the way you acted towards me. And then I realised, after looking through your memories, maybe you did so because you understood. Like, only you know what it's like to face the Dark Lord firsthand, maybe Dumbledore too, but he's dead as well, and I had your memories. And even if everyone was there at the last...duel, they didn't talk to him, or, or y'know just face him,you did all of that many times more than I ever did, and your work couldn't be credited, but mine was, even if I simply just got away by luck all the time. You didn't even really do any of it for me, it's 'cause you li-liked my mom and Dumbledore asked and stuff but-"

"Harry," Severus said more insistently. "Harry, while it's true that I...protected you at first because of your mother, and that I...cared very much for her," "Loved her," Harry interrupted. Severus gave him a superior glare but almost rolled his eyes at the thought of what he was discussing with Harry right now. Merlin's beard, love of all things. His day was just getting better and better, wasn't it? "I will...in some way, always...love.. your mother, but you can't possibly have thought that, I didn't" Severus felt a vague sense of growing horror at the sappy words he would come to utter. "That I...in some way...protected you because...because I'd grown to care for you too," he finished. Severus felt like downing a memory-modifying potion so that he would forget he ever said those words. But Harry had to hear them, he was near hysterical by now.

Harry looked at the him, aghast. "But, the memories," he spluttered, his mind going back to the scene in Dumbledore's office, the doe Patronus. "I didn't want to admit it to myself," Severus closed his eyes and took a breath in slowly. "Yeah, that must have been hard, realising you had _feeling_ s for your most hated Potions student," Harry said, almost cheekily. Severus however, looked at him in such a stern manner that Harry stopped smiling, wondering if he had done something wrong. Severus said, "You must have wondered why I seemed to loathe you so much."

"Yeah, I know, it was my father," Harry said curiously. What was Severus getting at?

"Well, that played a part too, but, Harry I suppose I owe you an apology as well," Severus said, a rather nasty look came across his face as he realised he was about to apologize to Potter, Potter of all people, but the boy deserved it, now that everything had all settled.

"Harry, I am so sorry that you have been on the receiving end of my...taunting all those years. I, have to say that the manner in which I acted was most unprofessional, my personal grudge against you was completely unfounded from the beginning. The...prejudice I had against you was because of...Lily. Your mother, whom I cared for, very deeply, and she...well, she died, and you," Severus took a moment to compose himself. Old wounds were reopening now, and he had never been so in-eloquent in his life thus far. Trust Potter to bring that out from him. "What I mean to say, Harry, is that, I was still very angry that your mother had died, instead of you. I am...sorry to say that I wished you dead in place of Lily. Which was why my behavior towards you was so." Severus crossed his hands uncomfortably. The boy's face was like a book, he could read it so well, as he saw a myriad of emotions cross the boy's face. Amusement, at first, when he'd mentioned apologizing, then shock, afterwards a fleeting touch of anger, and hurt, but that had gone away in a moment, and now, Harry's face was almost a serene picture of...reminiscence? Had the boy finally gone mad?

"Harry, what are you thinking?" Severus blurted out before he could help himself.

"I think..." Harry bit his lip, but carried on, "I think you were the only person that ever really understood what it was like to love my mother."

Severus bowed his head, unwanted emotions suddenly too much for him to control. Damn the boy! Damn Harry for saying such things!

"I, well...Lily was kind to me, kinder than most, even when I didn't deserve it," Severus said, chest tightening. It was all he could do not to try and break something.

"That's nice to hear," Harry said, smiling peacefully. Severus looked at the boy, questioningly.

"I never, well, I never really knew them, so it's great when I get to know stuff about them, it makes them more...real," Harry said.

"Well, you weren't so forthcoming when I tried to tell you about your father," Severus tried a feeble attempt at the joke. Great Scots, what was coming over him?

Harry laughed and said, "I suppose it's true."

"Well, I guess I have to apologize for that too. No, I still maintain that James Potter was an arrogant arsehole," Severus said at the shock look on Harry's face.

"But I was wrong that you were like him. You aren't. Not at all. In fact, your humility was probably what changed my...attitude towards you. I respected you for that, that you didn't try and claim your title as wizarding hero, but worked as hard as you could to deserve it all the same," Severus said. Harry gulped uncertainly, and muttered, "Thanks."

Another pause. "Harry, if you wanted, I could tell you more about your mother," Severus offered. A look of such joy blossomed across Harry's face that Severus felt a funny flip in his stomach that he had put it there. "Really? That would be wonderful! Thanks, Severus, it means so much to me," Harry said, eyes sparkling.

"But by all means, do not try and make me compliment your father. I will, and can, hex you into oblivion," Severus tried to adopt a joking severe face. Harry chuckled, "Okay, okay, it's a deal."

"So, er, how did you...survive?" Harry asked, the mystery had been bugging him throughout their conversation thus far. "I had drank an antidote to Nagini's poison prior to the Dark Lord's meeting, however, I did not anticipate that Nagini was a Horcrux, and thus Dark magic was infused in her poision. The antidote could only do so much, I went into coma, instead of death, as you had presumed, a body that resembled one who had taken the Draught of Living Death. Curiously, it was Longbottom," Severus could hardly resist giving a snort of contempt at the irony of the situation, "who found me, recognised the state of my non-death, and brewed the proper antidote to save me in time, before sending me to St. Mungo's." Harry laughed and said, "Well, who would've thought Neville saved his most hated Professor?" "Indeed, it would seem I have a life debt to Longbottom, who last I remembered, couldn't brew an antidote to save his own life, let alone someone else's" Severus said dryly. "Maybe the fact that he killed Nagini had something to do with it," Harry mused, "it would be quite apt to save another victim from her." "Perhaps," Severus acknowledged.

"What are your plans, now, Harry?" Severus asked. Harry frowned and said, "I'm not too sure, actually. Hogwarts is opening again in September, as soon the wards are up and the buildings repaired, and most of the seventh-years are invited back to do either a repeat year, or half a year, I guess I want to finish off as well. Have a, a sort of proper, closure, I guess."

"And then afterwards, an Auror?"

"Actually, probably not. I mean, fighting a Dark Wizard has been my identity for all my life and I think I've had enough of that for a lifetime so far," Harry said with a weariness beyond his years. "What about you?" Harry asked. Severus couldn't help but feel flattered that Harry would ask after him. But for politeness sake, of course, right?

"I'm returning to Hogwarts for a year, as a breather of sorts, if Minerva will have me," Severus added, smirking, "Then afterwards, I suppose I'll be a private practitioner, or supplier. I could do my own research and all that, further my own experience and knowledge." Harry nodded thoughtfully. "As a Potions professor? Or DADA?" "Potions, of course, DADA brings back too many... unpleasant memories," Severus said quickly.

"Of course, that was tactless of me," Harry apologised. He then gave a small laugh and

said, "Look at us, talking civilly. Giving compliments, a heart-to-heart."

"Matching scars," Severus said grimly. Harry said in between small fits of laughter, "If you'd told me I'd be doing this with you a month ago, I'd have thought someone well and truly Confunded you." Harry quietened down as another thought got hold of him, "So, er, it's true that you...care for me?" Severus turned quite pink as he gave a stiff nod. "Imagine my...surprise, and ensuing disgust afterwards, after facing a couple of Dementors in my hospital ward, I found out that my Patronus had shifted into the very embodiment of my greatest childhood enemy," Severus said. "You don't mean...Prongs? A stag? The same as-The same as mine?" Harry's jaw dropped. Severus couldn't help the red flush that crawled up his neck. "Yes."

"I-I have to go now," he made to stand up and so did Harry. A stitch was in his left side already, but he ignored it, limping to the portrait hole. "Severus," he turned too quickly and lost his balance. Warm and steady hands caught him, righted him, and moved away. Harry looked up at him with an unfathomable expression, "Severus, I, am truly...glad you're alive." "Me too," Severus lifted an eyebrow sarcastically. Harry just smiled back and said, "Safe journey then. Promise you'll visit?" Severus felt surprise that the boy actually wanted his company. "To tell you about Lily? Of course," he said, with a cracked voice. A soft palm covered his coarse pale hands as Harry whispered, "Not just that. I want...everything, Severus. Everything. You."


End file.
